Diane and Ellie in a rare Ellie not eating moment.
When I was much younger I didn’t ask for help much. I thought I could handle anything and was too proud to reach out when I needed it. But now with two girls under two I have no qualms about asking for help.I’m lucky because my brother and sister-in-law live next door to me and let me tell you, it has been a lifesaver! My sister lives about 5 minutes away and my parents about 10-15 minutes away. I have no shortage of people to babysit. Sometimes I can’t even take shower or eat lunch until 4p so I’ll ask for help. Because that is no way to live. Yes you are a parent and your time is sorta not your own anymore, but you have to be able to be you still or you’ll resent your kids.
If someone offers to babysit, or cook dinner or bring you coffee, SAY YES! I don’t care if it’s your third cousin twice removed, SAY YES! One such person I have in my life is my mom’s best friend, Diane. She has always been a prominent figure in my life, like a second mom. When I moved back to California she helped with my wedding, helped with my first daughter, and now she has been a part of my first string round of help. It’s invaluable to have family as well as extended family and friends that think your kids are cute because guess what they will show up to hold your baby until it passes out.
Help will be offered from unexpected places and if it isn’t ask people for it. Don’t be shy. You have another human to take care of, you need help. Even if you just need 10 minutes so you can pee alone. It does take a village and coffee, lots of coffee.
And always say thank you or else they won’t be back to help you again. I find beer and coffee are a nice way of saying “thanks for watching my kids who behave when you are around and are complete terrors when you leave.”